When I fired up my new Prius this morning it somehow automatically started playing songs from my iPhone. It was very perplexing; I don’t remember setting that up, but whatever. I figured I would just go with it. It was actually a nice change from the morning radio talk show that I usually listen to. But the next thing I knew, I was crying. It was as if “The World’s Saddest Songs” playlist had made its way into my iTunes. The first song that came on was a real heart-wrencher, Tim McGraw’s “Don’t Take the Girl.” Kind of caught me by surprise, but hey, it’s an emotional song. Then came, “Total Eclipse of the Heart” by Bonnie Tyler. “Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I’m only falling apart.” Just rips at your heart, right? Next up, “Copacabana.” Still crying. Hmmm, well you have to admit, it’s kind of tear-provoking. Lola and Tony are in love and now Tony is dead. Okay maybe that one is a stretch. I think it was somewhere between “Love Shack” and “Welcome To The Jungle” that I realized that it was not just the music that was making me cry.
It was the damn diabetes.
Somehow the music of my yesteryears brought on a firestorm of emotions. Wishing I could take diabetes from him and give it to myself. Shuddering at the thought of every finger stick, injection, site change and CGM insertion he has had to endure. Imagining how awful he must feel when he is sky high or bottoming out. My heart was aching for how alienated he must feel now. Wincing at the thought of how scared he must be at times, and sickened by what thoughts he might be wrestling with about his future. It is just more than any kid should have to deal with and I wanted to take it all from him.
That’s just the cold, hard truth that is diabetes. Sometimes it catches up with you and overwhelms you. And you just need to go with it. Ride it out. Because no matter how unpredictable diabetes is, there is one sure thing; the sun will rise again.
But listening to these songs got me thinking. I need to put together a diabetes playlist. I need a group of songs that will fire me up when I am down. Songs that will make me feel empowered to seek change, and hopeful for a cure and a better life for my son. Songs like Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter” and Michael Jackson’s “Man In The Mirror” and “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Twisted Sister.
What inspiring songs would you suggest I put on my “Diabetes Playlist?”
Just found your site tonight – hello! I’m sorry about the crying; I do that pretty often too. Looking forward to reading more of your posts! (P.S. I love the layout here. Love.)
Thanks Kim! I love your blog too! I found so many new one’s during Diabetes Blog Week! And yeah, the crying just sneaks up on you sometimes!
Peter Gabriel’s “Solsbury Hill” – best inspirational, change-direction song ever.
PS – love your blog, just found it this week, and have been reading through your older posts. I guess I’m also a WMP but my own pancreas, not one of the kids…
Thanks, that’s a great song! Nice to virtually meet you!
I also just found this blog today and like it so far! Nice job on the design as well as the writing!
I go through stages where I find different songs to be appropriate. My latest “go-to” tune is The Remedy by Jason Mraz. It’s got an up-beat tempo and some strong lyrics, even though it’s not written about diabetes: “We will cure this dirty old disease”, “I won’t worry my life away”. (And in a more literal sense, particularly apropos to CGM insertions: “Something on the surface, it stings”)
Scott, thanks! I love Jason Mraz and The Remedy is a great song for my Diabetes Playlist! Thanks for the suggestion!
The Fighter by Gym Class Heroes “Until the referee rings the bell, until both of your eyes start to swell, until the crowd goes home what we gonna do y’all? Give ’em hell, turn their heads, gonna live life ’til we’re dead. Give me scars, give me pain, then they’ll say to me there goes a fighter.” It’s my song I love to listen to when gearing up for our walk!