WifeMomPancreas

I know that it is a time tested woe of families everywhere, but I have to take a moment out of my life to rant about laundry.

I think the Duggars are the only people on the planet who have more laundry than we do.

And I know that it is my fault for buying so many clothes. Well, actually, I used to buy my boys a ton of clothes. I don’t buy them anything anymore because all they will wear is the t-shirt they got from football camp or VBS or some other article of clothing that looks like we dug through the lost and found! But even though I am not buying many new items, I obviously need to go through the stuff we do have and pare down a bit. But still. The amount of laundry we have is crazy, insane, asinine, redonkulous….call it what you want, it is just wrong. Today I counted 6 baskets of clean laundry (curiously place all around my house-none of it folded),  a GINORMOUS pile of dirty laundry in our master bathroom, an over-flowing basket of dirty laundry in Brett’s closet, a full three-section hamper of dirty laundry in the laundry room, a huge pile of clean laundry on the counter in the laundry room and a load in each the washer and the dryer. And this doesn’t even include all of the dirty socks, uniforms and other random items that I’m sure are in my car needing to be laundered.

And socks? Oh don’t even get me started on socks. We are not independently wealthy but I swear I am just going to start throwing socks away and buying new ones every week. There isn’t enough Xanax in the world to deal with trying to match up socks for 3 boys!

So I have identified part of them problem- we have too many clothes.

I think I know the other part of the problem and I know I am going to get all kinds of comments and hate mail for this , but here goes.

My dear husband, whom I love very much, is responsible for laundry in our house. I do the mail, pay the bills, make appointments, keep the family calendar, go through school backpacks, he does the laundry.

And I don’t like how he does it. (Ironically, he doesn’t like how I do it either, which is how he won himself the title of Laundry King in the first place….but I digress).

He waits and lets it all pile up for days and days, and then he will do 87 loads in one day. The problem with this is that then when those 87 loads come out of the dryer, he rarely folds it, and NEVER puts it away. So we either have ginormous piles of dirty laundry or thousands of baskets of clean laundry laying around.

And I know what you are all thinking, “SHUT UP WOMAN, AT LEAST HE IS DOING THE LAUNDRY! I’D GIVE MY LEFT ARM, OR MY LAST BOTTLE OF WINE, IF MY HUSBAND WOULD JUST DO ONE LOAD OF LAUNDRY, LET ALONE ALL OF IT! COME BACK WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING REAL TO CRY ABOUT!”

And I know that if someone were asking me for advice, I would tell them that if they want something done a certain way then they either need to do it themselves or they need to hire someone to do it so they can yell at them and say, “hey, I’m paying you to do this, so do it MY way!”

But I can’t afford to pay my husband to do it, and I don’t have time to do it myself. I am going to have to find another way to deal with my evil nemesis. But until then, I will just vent about it on my blog. (So no, I’m not going to shut up. It’s my blog and I can cry about laundry if I want to!)