Tag Archives: CGM

Apr 18 2013
1 Comment
It Ain't Always Pretty...But It's My Life

Throwing Punches

So we’ve made it through our first major illness with diabetes. Medium is just getting over the fever, sore throat, cough crap. But boy did it do a number on his numbers.

It is hard enough to take care of a sick kid who is fighting a virus where there is really nothing you can do but treat his symptoms, but then throw in uncontrollable high blood sugars and, well, it takes its toll…on everyone.

After being the sole on-duty night nurse for two nights, complete with vitals checked, meds passed, ketones checked and correction boluses given, I was looking forward to handing my nurse hat off to my other half for the night shift on day 3. Moments after I snuggled in to my freshly washed sheets and fell asleep, the MySentry alarm went off. “Unable to find pump”. The MySentry is on my husband’s side of the bed. So he “snoozed” the alarm. And then snoozed it again…..and again…..and again. Seriously! I’m trying to get some sleep over here! You can “snooze” the alarm on the MySentry as many times as you want, but until you get off your ass and go in and clear the alarm on the actual pump, it’s going to keep going off.

So, I’m not sure how many times my dear husband was going to let it go off, but after about 5 times I couldn’t take it anymore and I got up and went in to Medium’s room and cleared it myself. I was so exhausted and therefore, so mad at my dear husband at that moment. Have you ever heard of or read the blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat? If not, you should. It’s pretty entertaining. But these are the words that were running through my head as my husband was snoring next to me while I was fuming and trying to fall back to sleep.

It was a stressful week for us all. My husband and I had to take turns taking days off from work to stay home with Medium. Nothing we did to lower his blood sugars worked. And on top of it all, Medium was miserable. And watching your baby suffer and not being able to do anything about it is such a helpless feeling.

I’m happy to report that Medium is feeling better every day and things are getting back to normal around our house.

And I don’t want to punch my husband in the throat anymore…..at least not for now.

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Oct 10 2012
2 Comments
It Ain't Always Pretty...But It's My Life

Would You Rather….

I heard that the new Dexcom G4 continuous glucose monitor just got it’s FDA approval so I went to their website to do some research. Medium has the Medtronic CGM and I hate it almost as much as he does. It is not very accurate and we have not used it since June. We have been managing just fine without it, but if new and better technology exists for my son, I want to check it out.

So, anyway, I watched the little video and then poked around the website some. And then there she was. The woman who made me think to myself, “I would take diabetes if I could have her body”.

Can you believe I actually thought that? That knowing what I know about diabetes and it’s devastating affects on people, that I would actually wish for it?

I was immediately ashamed for thinking it. I have watched what my son goes through first hand and to think something like that somehow diminishes it’s seriousness; makes it like some kind of non-threatening, little “issue” that is not any big deal.

But it speaks volumes about my issues with body image. This woman was very thin, but not too thin, looked great in a pair of jeans and had a very nice, um er, chest area. She was perfectly proportioned.

She was a model and probably airbrushed. But still. I would give anything, even my non-diabetic status, to look like her.

So this got me thinking.  

Number 1: I have issues and probably need professional counseling.

And Number 2: How desperate for youth and beauty have we become as a society? How far will people really go to achieve the ultimate look? If I really could trade my health for that body….would I really do it?

I know you are thinking, “no, of course you wouldn’t”….

But I’m not so sure. (Yes, I know, I need therapy.)

So here’s my question.

What would you give up and for what, if you could? Would you give up your sense of smell for a wrinkle-free face and no gray hair? Would you give up sex for the rest of your life if you could be a blue eyed, blonde bombshell? Would you take on a life threatening, although manageable, disease with no cure, for the perfect body?

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,
May 17 2012
3 Comments
It Ain't Always Pretty...But It's My Life

I Have A Dream…

Today’s theme: Fantasy Diabetes Device

“Tell us what your Fantasy Diabetes Device would be? Think of your dream blood glucose checker, delivery system for insulin or other meds, magic carb counter, etc etc etc. The sky is the limit – what would you love to see?”

This one is kind of hard for me. We have only been playing this game for such a short time that I have been too busy learning about the reality of diabetes to start fantasizing about what could be.  At this point, the only fantasy I have is for a cure for this stupid disease.

But, this theme challenged me to think and get creative, and I like that.

But then I remembered that in one of my first posts on my blog I mentioned that they have a continuous glucose monitor for the D-kids and that they needed a continuous worry monitor for us D-moms.  So see, I was way ahead of my time.

But I would take it a step further. Someone needs to invent a continuous worry monitor and then a Xanax pump to go with it. Really it doesn’t have to be Xanax, it could be whatever your anti-anxiety medication is, vodka, chocolate, whatever!  And it would be all inclusive in one nice, sleek little device that would hold your debit card and lip gloss, too! As your number goes up on the CWM, the Xanax pump automatically dispenses an appropriate amount of medication. Voila! An always happy D-Mama! Who wouldn’t love that???

I know my husband would!

Ahhhh…..a girl can dream.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,
May 16 2012
2 Comments
It Ain't Always Pretty...But It's My Life

I Am Kicking Ass Over Here!

Today’s theme: One Thing To Improve

“Yesterday we gave ourselves and our loved ones a big pat on the back for one thing we are great at. Today let’s look at the flip-side. We probably all have one thing we could try to do better. Why not make today the day we start working on it. No judgments, no scolding, just sharing one small thing we can improve so the DOC can cheer us on!”

This week has been so busy with school year-end activities: field trips, awards ceremonies, concerts and the ever-so-prestigious-and-totally-necessary (enter eye-roll) Pre-School graduation (hey, I am all for celebrating my kids and their accomplishments, this is just one that I think is a little silly and self-indulging, but what the hell….) that I have not been able to get my posts for D-Blog Week up until almost 11 p.m. We were done with all activities by 7:00 tonight so I thought I would be able to post sooner but alas, here I am, the late night poster again. But the reason for my tardy post is a good one. I have been overwhelmed with the amazing and totally supportive comments from all of my new friends! Just think, on Monday, no D-friends. Two days later, so many I have lost count! What an amazing community that is the DOC! Someone said it is the greatest club you never wanted to be a part of! Ain’t that the truth! I have never been so easily accepted into a group before. If you have or care for someone who has diabetes, then you are in, and in with love! Simply amazing!

Well, after all that sticky-sweet (pun intended) talk, it’s time to trash myself. I told you yesterday that I am much more comfortable at finding my faults. Actually I don’t have to find them at all, rather I try to hide them. Sigh.

So grab yourself a cup of coffee, (or vodka, I don’t judge) and pull up a comfy chair because here goes….

I need to be a better, wife, mom, sister and daughter. My family bears the brunt of most of my flaws.

I need to eat better, exercise and loose weight.

I need to stop buying bags and purses.

I am addicted to McDonald’s fountain diet Coke.

Oh wait, this is supposed to be something I could improve on related to my son’s diabetes…..sorry, I am so well aware of my flaws that they just roll off the tongue!

Hmmmm…….let’s see….something to improve on….um….well, there is….no. Well, what about….huh, no. Okay, okay how about…. hmmm……well this is awkward. I can’t really think of anything. It’s ironic. I am keenly aware of all of my personal faults, but when it comes to Medium’s diabetes, I AM ALL OVER THIS SHIT!!! Don’t get me wrong, I make mistakes, there are too many moving parts of diabetes care for even the long-time veterans to not make a mistake now again, but for a rookie such as myself, I pretty much ROCK! (Anyone else find it interesting that in the post where I was supposed to praise myself, I could barely do it, but here where I am supposed to call myself out on something I am calling myself a ROCK STAR?) But seriously, a carbohydrate doesn’t enter Medium’s body without me knowing about it, we have test strips, glucose tabs and snacks with us at all times, we have glucometers and cake gel in every level of our house and in both cars, I download Medium’s pump and pour over his numbers every 3-4 days, I buy home A1c kits so I won’t have to wait 3 months to know how he is really doing, I talk to the school nurse daily. Actually at Medium’s three month check up the other day the diabetes educator was almost irritated that I already knew everything he was going to tell us after downloading the pump; when Medium tended to be high, how close his CGM was to his meter BG’s, what his A1c was.  I am telling you, I AM KICKING ASS over here!

But it is exhausting, draining, paralyzing and all-consuming and my personal health and relationships are suffering because of it. I need to learn how to let up a little bit. I need to understand that I can’t be in control of this horrid disease at all times. I need to remember that I have two other kids who need me, too. I need to praise Medium more often for being such an easy diabetic kid to take care of. I need to remember to breathe.

Huh, look at that, I do have some things I could work on!

(You didn’t really think I was that conceited, did you?)

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
May 02 2012
7 Comments
It Ain't Always Pretty...But It's My Life

It’s My Blog And I’ll Cry If I Want To

I have been writing a lot about myself lately. This life-changing curve ball that has been thrown at me has really knocked me off my center and I am struggling to find my way back to equilibrium. And, this is my blog so I’ll cry if I want to. But I do want to make a few things clear.

#1-No matter how bad things seem on some days, I am well aware that they could be much worse. I know there are people out there who might look at my situation and think it was a walk in the park compared to what they are going through. And I know, and am related to, some people who would probably give their right arm to have our issues instead of their own. I never want my writing to sound whiny. I know that despite the hand we have been dealt, we are still abundantly blessed and I try hard to remember to find those blessings each day.

#2-I am not exhausted because my kids are over-involved in after school activities. I am exhausted from 3 continuous months of fragmented sleep. Period. Each kid only has one activity right now, and to be totally honest, thinking about going to watch one of them play or perform on the weekend is the only thing that gets me through the work week. So yanking them out of their activities will not solve my exhaustion problem.

#3-My husband is not nearly as affected by all of this as I am. I guess you could chalk it up to men just being a more simple creature than us complicated women folk. My husband pointed out to me after reading some of my posts that we have very different feelings about the way things are going. While I am exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed, worried, anxious and sad, he is just, well, fine. I mean, he doesn’t over analyze anything. It just is what it is for him. How I wish it could be that simple for me. I guess in a way it is good that it is so cut and dry for him, because I don’t know what we would do if we were both wound as tight as I am, but conversely, he knows that I am worried enough for the both of us, so managing Medium’s diabetes has fallen 100% on me. A friend commented the other day at how well Medium seemed to be doing and my comment was, “yes, he is doing great, because he isn’t the one managing his diabetes, I am.” I am the one running around with a net making sure that if, despite my best efforts, he falls, I will be there to catch him and he won’t get hurt.

#4-Having just said that Medium isn’t managing his diabetes, is kind of not true. I mean, he doesn’t make his own endo appointments, and he doesn’t make sure he has enough supplies and then call in his refills to the pharmacy or pour over doctor/hospital bills, but for what he can do, what a 10 year-old is capable of, he is a ROCK STAR! He makes me so proud. Other than a not-so-minor problem of him sneaking food (the chocolate chips and who knows what else he got into last night had him in the 300’s all night) he is all over the details of his disease. He accurately counts carbs, has mastered giving himself a bolus and all of the settings of his pump, and is very in-tune to how his body feels. He also understands the somewhat complex (at least for a 10 year-old) relationship between specific foods, insulin, his blood sugar, and his continuous glucose monitor. He told me that today his pump kept beeping at him to alert him of a low while he was at school. I asked him what he did. He said that he didn’t do anything because he knows that there is usually a lag between his CGM reading and what he really is, and he had just eaten a snack without dosing so he knew he would be fine. I seriously had to fight back tears. Tears of sadness that he has to mess with all of this when he should just get to be a 4th grader at school, but tears because I am so proud of how he learned all of this and how he just accepts that it is what it is.

#5-If I could learn to just accept that things are what they are sometimes, I would probably be a lot less stressed. My husband and Medium are the two least stressed people I know. When I am done crying, I will work on that!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Apr 08 2012
2 Comments
It Ain't Always Pretty...But It's My Life

Reason # 1,723 Why I Hate Diabetes

It is robbing me of my brain.

Our diabetes educator keeps talking about not letting diabetes run our life, but rather work our life around diabetes. Well, that is really hard to do…..especially for a control freak like me.  Caring for a child with a chronic illness is, in short, exhausting. Round the clock blood sugar checks, carb counting at every meal or snack, lots of math….I hate math.  Having to always be two steps ahead of diabetes is draining. Boy scouts would make good diabetics, you always have to be prepared.  Prepared for highs, prepared for lows, prepared for pump malfunctions, etc. And then there’s the constant worry. They have a continuous glucose monitor for diabetics, they should have a continuous worry monitor for us moms of diabetics that automatically dispenses Xanax, caffeine, wine….whatever your drug of choice is based on your reading.  Yeah, I’m going to invent that….in my spare time.

But that invention will have to wait.  I can barely remember to put shoes on before I leave the house these days. I forgot to account for Small after school one day and had to leave work abruptly and race home to meet the bus (overlooked the fact that no one was going to be home to get him off the bus). I have mailed bills and forgot to put stamps on them. I forgot about a meeting at work. Small has not had his library book on library day, ever this year. (Okay that one I can’t blame on diabetes, it’s been happening since the beginning of school.)

But today was the mother of all blunders. Today I did something that twelve years ago when I was a naive new mother, I would have been downright appalled at witnessing. (Although it should be noted that as a naive new mother, lots of things I witnessed of other parents appalled me. Like picking up a pacifier that had fallen on the ground and putting it back in the baby’s mouth without boiling it first, or letting a 2 and 4 year-old have soda, or leaving a restaurant table looking like nuclear war had descended upon it during your dinner with your children–all things that I eventually did, when I wasn’t so naive anymore!)

Today I forgot to be the Easter bunny. (Enter horrified gasps here.)

Yep, not my proudest moment as a mother hearing my 5 year-old say, upon realizing the Easter bunny stiffed him, “I hate the Easter Bunny!”

How the hell could I forget to be the Easter bunny?  And I didn’t just forget to put the stuff out, I didn’t even buy anything.  Nothing. Nada. Zip, zero, zilch.

Now, you should know, Large performed as Edmund in Narnia the Musical at the beautiful, brand-new Kauffman Center for the Perfoming Arts this weekend, (which, coincidentally, is one of my proudest moments as a mother) so I have been a little pre-occupied with that, but still. How the hell do you forget to be the Easter bunny?

I’ll tell you how.

Diabetes.

There is only so much room in this noggin of mine to worry and remember things and now that diabetes has moved it’s big butt in, there ain’t much room for anything else.

But in true Warrior Mom fashion, I (and CVS) saved Easter.  The Easter bunny was running late this year and came by while we were at church. And I will say, the Easter bunny did a good job of putting together diabetic friendly Easter baskets for the whole family. Sure there was some chocolate and some Peeps (I’m sure I will regret that one), but there was also sugar free gum, lots of nuts, beef jerky and cheese and cool bottled water and Crystal light.

So you can suck it, diabetes. I win this one!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
Mar 24 2012
4 Comments
It Ain't Always Pretty...But It's My Life

Happy Anniversary!

Seems odd to think of an anniversary of being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as “happy”, but we have real reason to celebrate today!  No, we didn’t discover the cure, and no, I didn’t figure out a way to turn back the clock to a time when Medium didn’t have diabetes.  But our lives have been altered, the path of our journey has changed course and we have a new normal, so different things make me happy now. Like Medium having an A1C of 6.8.  Oh yeah baby, sweet! The hemoglobin A1C test is the litmus test for diabetics to make sure they are staying in range.  A diabetic only knows what their blood sugar is when they test it and who knows what it is doing the rest of the time.  The life of a red blood cell is 90 days, so the test is able to look back and tell you what your average blood glucose was over the last 3 months.  A healthy, “normal” A1C is between 4-6.  When Medium was diagnosed and in the hospital his A1C was 11.4 which told us that his average blood sugar for the 3 months before diagnosis was in the low 300’s.  I bought a home A1C kit which had two tests in it and we took one at his one month mark and it had gone down to 8.6 and now at  the 2 month mark it is 6.8.  Now, I don’t know how accurate the home kits are, but most research I have done says they are accurate within 20%.  We will get an official A1C at the endocrinologists office when he goes for his 3 month follow up.  I will probably do a home test before we go to compare it to the doctor’s office test and check for accuracy.  But none the less, I am so excited that his A1C is so good.  It is almost in normal range and that is even with one month of pre-diagnosis, non-medicated blood cells on board!  So basically we are kicking diabetes’ ass, even without a pump!

And speaking of the pump…..that leads me to my next reason to celebrate today.  I found out yesterday that the insurance company paid the claim for the pump! They denied the claim for the continuous glucose monitor but after a few phone calls, I am fairly certain that will be paid, too.  (They only cover the CGM for one diagnosis code and they must have overlooked the code on his script because it was on there).  So we are spending this weekend going through the all the instruction manuals and taking the online lessons so I can call on Monday and we can schedule our pump training.  Woohoo!

We spent the evening with some of my oldest friends (they aren’t old, I have just known them for a LONG time).  One of the families lives out of town and the other family lives about 25 minutes away and we just don’t get together very often.  There are 8 kids between us and they are all between the ages of 5 and 12, all boys except one girl.  The kids all had a great time together and Medium was right in the mix, hoopin’ it up having a great time.  And I couldn’t help but get a little choked up watching him.  Because while we still have a long road ahead of us and a lifetime of managing this disease, I took comfort in seeing just how far we have come in 2 months and watching Medium having a normal, happy Saturday night with friends.

But I still hate diabetes.

Me and "My Savior".

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,